Simple thoughts

I don't have the recipe on how to raise children, and far away from me it's the idea that I completely succeded in being a mother (even though my daughter is becoming day by day a nice, decent and smart young woman). I know perfectly well that the road is still long and tough, and that we will have other fights, she's aware that before being her mother, I'm a human being, and I recently became aware that before being my daughter, she's a human being. We have come to the agreement that we are not perfect, we make mistakes that the other has to accept. But one thing has been always clear in her education, and it's "respect". Respect to elders, to teachers, to friends, to neighbours, to nature etc. and to oneselves. You can be the richest, powerful, most famous person in the world, but without respect, you're nothing. Why I'm saying this? Last saturday night we went out to dinner with friends, in a place just outside town, where we go often. This time there were a lot of children, aged between 2 and 10 years. It seemed like to be in a sort of kindergarden/mental institution!! All were screaming, running between the tables, playing with baloons. Their parents? Comfortably seated at their table, talking and laughing, without giving a dam if their children were annoying others! We had a great time nevertheless, but all this screaming and running was really too much, and it seemed weird to me that the owners of the restaurant could tollerate such a situation (when leaving, with half a smile on my face, I told them that next time I will inquiry about the number of the children expected there!). The third time a boy dropped his ballon on my plate, I told him to get lost if he wanted to still have a ballon! What disturbed me the most was  that how those children can learn respect for others if their parents behave like this? It's certainly easier not to costantly look after your children so you can relax with your friends, who cares if they are unnerving people? But those children will grow up with the conviction that everything is allowed, that they are the ones who can do as they like, others have simply to adjust. No way, my freedom ends where yours begins, we don't live alone in this world!

Ok, maybe I'm over-reacting a little, considering that when the subject is my daughter I'm really over-protective.....but yesterday I went to her school for the second three-time-a-year meeting with her teachers, and I got very angry with two of them, not for what they said, but for the tone they used. Marty is good at school, I have nothing to complain about, she's smart, intelligent, sensitive and brilliant, and it seems that when you're like this, you're not allowed to have slow-down moments, or lack of interest, or just to skip a good result! What are she supposed to be, a machine? To never fail? To never be tired? In the 4th year of high school, she has an average of 8 out of 10, so what do they want from her? I remember very well when I was at school, how hard were my battles with teachers, and my mom was never by my side (not her fault really, it was just how it was at that time) but I won't be like her, so at home I supported my daughter telling her that maybe she has to try harder, but if she doesn't succed, it's still ok with me or her dad. She has very clear in mind what she wants to do with her life, how to achieve her goals, and I think this is important. A lesser evaluation in some subjects at school, won't stop her.

  So, it's official, from yesterday it's springtime!! Where? Not here!! It's from yesterday morning that it's raining like hell, and after a very cold, raining, snowy, long winter, we surely don't need it! I really need some hot, sunny days to spend outside, walking down the hill surrounding the city, with friends and dogs. To sit outside on the balcony to read a book, enjoying the sun on my face. To go for a bike ride with our friends to discover little, nice restaurants to eat local specialties. To search for country little markets, to buy some original artcrafts. To do some gardening at our friends country home, all together, sweating and laughing. It's the time of the year I like the most, but I'm sure that when finally spring will come, it will be for so very short, before the hot summer will kill me!

Ok, so my daughter has really grown up, she's 18 now, and I have to adjust to the idea that she wants to be on her own. At her age I was already with my husband and dreaming about my freedom, so I guess that's just life, it's her turn now!

  Since last year she was asking, as a gift for her 18th birthday, to go on vacation on her own, with her friends. We needed time to be used to the idea, but eventually we said yes. The only thing is, "friends" has become "one friend", coz she loose the others along the way. Her friends' parents said yes too, so next saturday night we'll have a summit at home to fix the details. They decided for a week in Paris (and to Paris how you can say no?) at the end of august, Martina was there a couple of times already, but she was younger, she doesn't remember anything, and her friend has never been there. The things is, I'm far more happy it's Paris coz I have a dear friend living there, I've already alerted her, she's gonna be their guardian angel if they may need something while there. And if she couldn't be avaible, there're always her hubby and her three brothers! I'm much more relaxed thinking about that.

Next problem is, what me and hubby are gonna do? One idea that came to my mind was a bike trip to Bayern, we left so many things to see the last time we were there. But we should buy some outfits for the rain, one or two bags for our bike, too much expensive. So, maybe our destination will be the south of France, Pyreneè region, my dream is to go and visit Montsegur, home of the Catars. Hubby is willing to follow me, so maybe this is it. I like to look out of the window, see a grey sky, rain, and think about south of France under the sun!

I don't like changes. I know it's my fault, life is a constant change. And I know I must adjust to that. But I like things that I love the most, to be the same, day after day. It reassures me, it gives me a sense of safeness, a warm and good feeling of stability. But it's just me, things around me do change, and I have to accept it. I like to stick with rules, without rules, our life and all the things we love, would be a real mess! But when a rule isn't good for your feelings, what do you do? For now I've put on the scale the good things and the bad things, and the good ones are far more. But it left me with a sens if uneasiness, of something wrong. And I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I know every decision made isn't an easy one. But what left me really sad, was the fact that I was really honest, and yet, I've been misunderstood about my feelings and intentions. I thought that after at least three years, they knew me better than this. Anyway, I'll do the best I can (as I always did) hoping this will be enough.

....about children, pureness, light hearts, innocence......when we loose all this? Is it any way to keep just a little innocence in our hearts? How can we accomplish this? There must be a way to have a pure heart even when we grow up. To still be a little childish in our adulthood, to not loose contact with our dreams.

One of my online friends just opened her own blog. I think that blogging is a very good idea to keep track of your thoughts and feelings. Our grannies maybe wrote a diary, now blogs are the modern way to write one. If someone (known or unknown) drops by and leaves a note, good, but this is not the purpose of blogs (mine, anyway). It's just to put down your feelings, to have them still, and forever. But I like also to know others opinions, so, to anyone reading this,

And this brings my mind in another direction, thinking about friendship. I have a lot of friends, blood and flesh ones, and for them I will always thank God. But over the last years, through some forums, I've "met" so many people, someone has disappointed me, someone is still here, sharing her/his life with me (and vice-versa). You can make a connection with people, even on the net, if you're honest enough not to hide behind a screen. Lately, one of this virtual friends had a very nice idea, to meet up somewhere in the middle of Europe. I like very much this idea, and I'll do all that I can to be there where and when the meeting will take place. I like to know other people, other countries, other traditions, other cultures. And this is a very good way to achieve that. Now it's only some names on the net, tomorrow maybe some true friends, who knows?

Let's make EACH DAY the 8th march, OUR day!! Don't let others forget what we are capable of, don't let others forget what it means to be women, to bring life, to think clearer and sweeter, to be able to forgive and to go on. To be a mother, a wife, a lover, a daughter, a teacher, a nurse, a listener, a friend, all at the same time. And they ask to do all this with a smile on our face. And we do. Because we are women.

Last tuesday night, a little boy of 17 months has been kidnapped from his home, in a suburban area of my city. His dad and mom are really destroyed, the mom keeps to be online on tv praying the ones who have her son to give him his medication, and the doses he needs, coz the little boy has convulsions crisis. All the Red Cross centers in Italy can provide the medicin for free and with no questions, but I doubt these people will show up anywhere. The parents aren't rich, they both work for our postal service, but the father is the chief of the local Credit Center, the police thinks that maybe he said no to a mortgage, or something like that, and the kidnapping is just a revenge. Whatever, the only thing that matters is that this little angel can be home soon with his family.

   Be strong little Tommy, we're all praying for you.

Edited today 10 march at 11,20am: The father is under investigation for pedophilia, the worst scenario one can imagine!!! I really hope the baby is fine, but at this point I'm really scared.

Well, this month began with a blast!! Yesterday hubby had a surgery, luckily it was only a day surgery, all was ok, and in the evening he was at home again. But last night, well, sleeping was a major issue! The painkiller effects just vanished too soon, and sleeping with pain is not that easy. Anyway, today is much better, now the only thing to do is rest, take long walks daily without tiring too much, drink a lot, and go for scheduled check-ups. The very exhausting thing yesterday was waiting for his turn in the surgery room, and the best thing was the instant friendship whit his roommate and his wife. Before and after the surgery we talked a lot, and laughed even more! We will get together again next monday for the first check-up, and we talked about going out for dinner, so we'll see.